Scene in the boardroom of Mega Corp…
F.D.: “So Mr. Techy, you want me to spend £xxxxx on upgrading our Business Objects installation from Version 3 to Version 4. Okay, what will I get for my money”
Mr. Techy: “Well your users will be able to create reports that combine data from lots of different sources, all through a single Universe!”
F.D.: “But I’ve heard that if you try and do this, the performance is so bad, it makes it unusable. What’s worse, in some cases, this new design tool thingy can’t even replicate what the old tool did, and most people don’t even like the looks of the new tool”
Mr. Techy: “Well the reporting tool has got a new user interface and lots of new whizzo ways of displaying charts!”
F.D.: “Wow, I’m supposed to be impressed? From what I hear, most users don’t like the new interface, and apparently the reports take an age to refresh”
Mr. Techy: “But if we don’t upgrade, we won’t be able to link up with lots of SAP’s other dashboarding products”
F.D.: "Oh you mean those products that change name more often than I change my shirt, and have a shelf life shorter than that of a post-coital Mayfly! My advisors tell me that that there are far better offerings in the marketplace.
Mr. Techy: “But if we don’t upgrade, we will no longer be supported by SAP”
F.D.: “So you’re putting a gun to me head! We can either stay where we are, with a just about okay product that is unsupported, or we can spend mega bucks on a pile of poo that, in theory, has minimal additional business benefit, but in practice has gone backwards; but this will be supported.”
Mr. Techy: “But without version 4 we cannot link to dashboards and do data storytelling!”
F.D.: "‘Storytelling’ - don’t tell me this is the latest horrible Marketing buzzword. I’ll tell you a story, and it’s a very short one.
“Once upon a time not long ago in a land not far from here, there was a place called Harmony. Everybody in Harmony was happy, and their joie de vivre was protected by their prince, named ‘Business Objects’, who had magical powers. But evil forces conspired to capture prince ‘Business Objects’, took his powers away and turned him into a frog. Despite all of the pleadings by the people of Harmony, begging for prince Business Objects to have his powers restored, the evil forces let him wither and die along with his followers.” (with apologies to Todd Rundgren for blatant plagiarism)
Unlike most fairy tales, this one has no happy ending. We have a third option; we’ll just change supplier"
Techy: “I’ll get my coat”
(This last comment will only be meaningful to British forum members of a certain age who watched a certain TV comedy series)
anorak
(BOB member since 2002-09-13)